“Do you know what a Jesus Juke is? What you just did — followed by a link .” –
I didn’t know what that was, until one man trusted me with truth. – I appreciate him tonight.
My weekend started out simple enough really. Other than recovering from the flu, I was doing rather well. Until Medusa showed up that is. (medusa is my name for my other self, she’s kinda hateful and full if bite)
I got dumped on pure and simple. A simple conversation turned ugly with an onslaught of scripture verses, accusations, rebukes, and a rather clear insinuation that perhaps I wasn’t really a Christian after all. I did nothing. I just let her rant and moved on and let her exhaust herself. I never once told her the truth about how her actions were impacting me.
In retrospect, I believe I am a tad too proud on how I handled that. Meaning, I didn’t tell her to shove it. Which is really what I wanted to say, but that would have messed with my halo and heaven forbid I mess with that because I’ve got that whole good girl lie groove thing going on.
Nope. I was kind to her.
Unfortunately, I took all that pent-up unkindness and dumped my bullshit onto someone else’s shoulders.
I was very passive aggressive about it, trust me. I didn’t want to seem like I was juking him. but that is exactly what I was doing. Stuff runs downhill and all that jazz.
He posted a scripture verse on Twitter about hating those who cling to idols and his faith is in the Lord, yep I’m a hater – kinda quote – not a bad quote actually if taken entirely in context of say the rest of his posts. I posted back a scripture verse about how we are called to love and that if you claim to love God but hate your brother you are walking in darkness. Nothing more. Just the verse.
I sure know how to make a great first impression.
Have I told you yet that he doesn’t know me?
I apparently know how to piss him off as well. Granted, I would be upset if someone did that to me. Oh that’s right. Someone did do that to me and I passed it on to him. Lucky man.
He replied directly to me as soon as he saw it, which was several hours later, telling me I’d juked him and even sent the link to explain exactly how I sinned against him. Then wondered how he could be such a magnet for self righteous whack jobs.
This first thing I did when he pointed out my actions was admit to myself that I wronged him. Then I admitted it to God. After that and only after that did I admit to this man that yes, he was correct my actions were out of line. I immediately apologized - publicly since I insulted him publicly and promptly removed my original remark as an act of repentance.
Honestly, he didn’t have to respond. He could have simply ignored it and I would have missed out on a great growth opportunity. Not that I necessarily like this kind of growth opportunity. Still. There is a scripture verse about how an enemy will kiss you with lies, and a friend with rip your heart out with truth or something like that. I know it, it’s just eluding me right now.
While I’m embarrassed by the response, I’m more embarrassed that I actually did that whole I’m holier than thou here’s my scripture verse to prove it garbage. I try not to do that, and sometimes I fail.
The point in life is not to avoid failing – although it would be splendid if I could. Leading a grown up life means owning it when you fail and asking for forgiveness.
He did me a real favor. He trusted me with truth. I actually appreciate that.
This is the link he sent me, written by Jon Acuff explain what Jesus Juking (Click the link if you’d like) WHAT IS JESUS JUKING ANYWAY? Totally worth reading.
My question to you dear readers, has anyone ever trusted you enough with the truth when you were showing your medusa-esque self? How did you respond?
I’m sorry, but the post you are looking for is no longer here. Please note that I write most of my posts 1 – 2 weeks in advance and schedule them for future publication. While this particular post dealt with my own eating issues and abuse of over the counter diet pills, as well as revelations I’ve received from my present Bible Study, I’m afraid that it published on the cusp of another very important announcement. The two have nothing to do with eachother, but out of respect for a friend and a family grieving, I’m taking my post down.
Please pray for those you mentor as well as those who mentor others. I’ve heard it said that the minute we step into public ministry, Satan points a loaded gun at the backs of our heads. That is so true. May God fill you to overflowing with his Grace, his Mercy and His Peace.
Thank you for reading my blog.
U2 Rocks, that’s all I can say.
There is very little that frustrates and hurts my heart more than
piety sorry wrong word, I mean Piosity. In others of course, never myself. (She says very much tongue in cheek) And yet, I’m called not to rebuke or lower myself to match it, I’m called to love — It’s really hard to remember that some days and so I am reminded that I too am a sinner saved by grace and I can allow myself to be met by God exactly where I am. Humbled. Alone. Hurting for myself and for those the pious wound. Prideful and being arrogant about my own (seeming) lack of piety which is a sin as well. Ah yes, pride. Will it ever be removed? will I ever stop feeling the need to correct those who look for perfection in a fallen world when truthfully that need really stems from my own heart and sinful pride? Because when I’m there? I believe I’m a better Christian than the pious. Will it ever end, this cycle of spiritual death and sword fighting?
Only when Jesus returns. Until then, I stumble, I repent, arise, and try again tomorrow.
1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love
Me – “No, say you’re sorry like you mean it!”
Me “Well if you two don’t make up, I’m going to make you sit on the couch and hold hands until you forgive each other.”
– Word to the wise N-E-V-E-R do that if you have boys. I won’t go into details, let us just say, it wasn’t pretty.
Teaching my boys how to apologize and how to forgive is no easy feat. And to make matter worse they have a neurotic mother who tends to apologize for everything.
Are you having a bad day? – I’m sorry.
Did I forget to call? – I’m sorry.
Is it raining? – I’m sorry.
Do I think you are mad at me? — oh dear God, I’m-sincerely-horribly-sorry-and-I-hope-you-will-forgive-me-because-I’ve-obviously-done something-horribly-terribly-wrong-or-there-wouldn’t-be-this-tension-between-us! (DEEP BREATH) tell-me-you-forgive-me-before-I-hyperventilate-and pass-out!
I’m am a recovering apology queen. If I think for a minute that I have done something wrong, I will immediately apologize and ask for forgiveness, even for something that is the other person’s issue, just so that I do not have to suffer the uncomfortable consequences of relational tension.
There is a world of difference between “I’m sorry.” and “I was wrong.”
I was wrong to call another blogger friend an “overstuffed pig” last year. I did feel badly about that once I thought about it and had to make amends – repent, apologize, and seek forgiveness. My actions were out of line and had a negative impact on another human being. My hostility was undeserved. I began by telling him I was wrong. Why I thought I was wrong and wanted to make it right. I’d sinned, that was an appropriate action step for sin.
I was sorry that I thought I’d offended a pastor on his blog a year or so ago — sorry because I didn’t want any ill will between us, I liked him and I wanted him to like me. Just because I felt uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I did anything wrong. It’s taken me a long time to learn I don’t need to repent of having a different opinion than someone else. And if someone chooses to take offense at my different opinion that does not mean I have sinned. That’s a tough one for me. I did apologize for giving voice to my opinions and for possibly offending him and his response fascinated me -
“No sin committed, therefore no forgiveness needed nor offered.”
You’d think I’d be relieved – but what I felt was panic. I didn’t understand the grace and wisdom behind those words for a very long time. I was so freaked out by his response that it took me over a year to work up the nerve to talk to him again. True story.
In time I understood that he was right. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I wasn’t repenting for sin, I was lamenting over potential loss of good will and tried to patch it up before the boat sank. I was simply afraid. He saw through that fear and offered truth and grace. Through that example, I’ve learned how to help my own boys discern sorry from wrong and forgiveness from peace treaties.
A very good example of personal accountability, integrity, and honesty can be seen in Tiger Wood’s public apology that aired last Friday. If you haven’t seen it you can see it here: Tiger’s very public apology
I’ve already seen the comments and posts about how “it was scripted.”, “It’s just a PR.”, “He’s a buddhist? He needs Jesus and then we’ll talk” Faith issues aside, I am quite honestly, impressed by his statement. I’m also just as impressed with what he didn’t say, as I am what he did say.
He could have blamed others: “I had an unhappy childhood.” He could have made jokes or blamed his wife for not understanding him. Or he could have blamed the other women — “They came on to me.”
But he didn’t.
He could have also said “I’m sorry and I won’t do it again” and expected his responsibility to end right there.
Instead he did more than that.
Think what you may of him, his actions, his confession, or his faith, his confession does contain four very important elements.
- He named the sin – “I had affairs. I cheated. What I did was unacceptable.”
- He took personal responsibility: “I was wrong. I brought this on myself. I recognize I have brought this on myself. And I know above all I am the one who needs to change.”
- He acknowledged the impact his choices and actions had on others: “I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife’s family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.”
- He acknowledges active repentance: “My real apology to her (Elin) will not come in the form of words. It will come from my behavior over time.” And he named some of those behavioral changes that will enable him to take right action.
What I like is that Tiger seems to understand that this apology doesn’t automatically make everything okay now. He acknowledges, and owns his part and his part alone. Are there two sides or more to this story? Sure, there probably is, but he doesn’t need to be concerned with any sidewalk except his own. Tiger seems to understand this is about a life time of change that he, and his family, has to look forward to.
I have too much debris on my own sidewalk to stand as judge and jury over Tiger’s apology. It’s not my place to decide whether or not he is sincere or even whether or not I’m going to forgive him. God alone knows the heart of a man (or woman) and He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven.
Repentance doesn’t end with I was wrong or I’m sorry, it begins there. I wish him well on his journey.
Check back tomorrow while I write about my journey back through the pages of liturgical worship, Lent, and finding Christ in the seasons.
This post written by Deana O’Hara for Redemption’s Heart. All rights reserved.