My banjo teacher used to call me “High Strung.” Some how, I don’t think that was a compliment. I’m always in such a hurry to finish up whatever we are working on and get to the next plateau that I don’t enjoy the moment.
I’m the same way with losing weight, mastering cycling, and my career. My eyes are on the mountain tops. The next gig, the next movie, the next song.
8 months with my leg in a boot has changed that. 8 months of sitting on my front porch overlooking the cove brought such incredible peace. No late night gigs, no rushing to finish projects around the house. no exhaustion. I just got to be.. 100% wholly me and no one else for 8 whole months.
I’m not sure I want to get back in the fray. The mania of striving and networking.
I want to build my garden at the Cove, write poetry, play my banjo on my front porch, go to church, take my time cooking fabulous meals, and spend time with friends. Maybe write my book and sling some jokes here and there when I feel like it.
Rebuilding a “suitable” web page that brings “results” doesn’t have the appeal it did a year ago.
Neither does being a star.
Or chairing yet another board at church.
Sounds crazy to me though.
Meeting Howard this weekend reaffirms that change.
Howard is a luthier. It can take him a year to make ONE violin. He has 10 more he wants to make. It took him a year to rebuild ONE clock from Germany. His father purchased a real log cabin for $20, took it down row by row, transported it back to his house and rebuilt it, row by row.
I’m guessing it took longer than a week.
How is it that at 48, I can still be in as big of a hurry to grow up as I was at eight?
Slowing down is good for sure.
Fight and you may die, run and you will certainly live at least for a while and dying in your beds many years from now would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom.
What are you fighting for?
What are you fighting against?
Marriage equality or DOMA?
Corporate entitlement disguised as “religious freedom” or do you believe that Corporations are people.
The Affordable Healthcare Act.
Women’s rights pro or con?
Maybe you are fighting Monsanto.
Maybe you are fighting to save your marriage.
Maybe you are fighting to end a bad marriage.
Maybe you are fighting cancer.
Or terrorism either from within or without.
Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve buried your head in the sand and aren’t fighting anything at all, but just surviving. Maybe all you want is to go home and live because you are afraid of the cost.
My question though is, is that really living?
Hiding the truth.
We all want freedom.
Freedom from tyranny – where ever we find it. We want the freedom to make our own choices, live our own lives, and express our opinions without fear of retribution.
If the truth really does set us free as they say, why do we live in the land of the free and the brave, yet want freedom at the expense of another?
Freedom has a cost.
It carries a price.
So does hiding.
We can sleep in our beds and live (and lie) or we can fight.
“Careful ladies, the saints are watching.”
To which I reply,
Thank you for the warning.
Let them watch.
He will cover you with his feathers and under HIS wings, you will find refuge. Psalm 91:4
(Photo credit: Deana O’Hara)
There is a saying in my circles that drives me absolutely crazy some times.
“This Too Shall Pass.”
Honestly, when I’m in the middle of THIS, whatever it is, I’m not all that keen on seeing the temporary of my situation. All I can see is the now and the now stinketh much sometimes.
Take my right now for instance. I am 30 weeks into what started as a simple ankle replacement. I am still in part one of that. My tibia is still broken and we haven’t even gotten to the ankle part. People have commented about my positive attitude and I want to tell you, there are days where my prayers sound like King David’s “How long Oh Lord?”
Now I do know that my leg is going to heal and that life will pick up again and that like the saying goes this will pass. I know this because 10 years ago, it was my heart that was broken instead of my leg.
10-years ago, I didn’t believe this would pass. I felt stuck in a never-ending cycle of hurt and disappointment.
While I was still depressed over my circumstances, I chose to trust God with a single step. Nothing major, just make my bed. Then it was get dressed. Then take a walk. Quit my job. And then the scariest of all – make a new friend. And another. And another.
Over time things changed. I started doing things that scared me to death for a moment and produced wonderful results. (I failed at a lot of things as well, but you know… I kept going anyway)
So beloved – where ever you are, whatever season you are in, know that things do pass, life does change, and if you take one small step of faith and courage great things will happen.
Dare to Live
My thoughts are not always my friends.
I’m on day 224 with this broken leg. I can normally stop my rambling brain by weeding my garden, going for a bike ride, or taking a walk. I don’t have that luxury right now. I’m really having to work on being more compassionate towards myself and my thinking.
My first perceptions and thoughts about a situation are usually incomplete. I need to remember take time to step back, listen, process, and find clarity. Otherwise, it’s just all noise.