Category Archives: Livin on Tulsa Time

the year that did not kill me

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I’ve been writing and rewriting, wanting to sum up 2015 for you guys, and for myself to no avail.

Word picture: Me, butt in chair, staring at a computer screen and eating potato chips, for hours.  That and drinking massive amounts of coffee. Then going outside in our forever summer to smoke. I know, smoking is bad, but it relaxes me.

SIGH.

Then I saw this cartoon on a friend’s Facebook wall and I’m thinking YES, this is it. THIS is 2015 in a nutshell. That which did not kill me has made me weirder. And maybe a little harder to relate to. Or not, I’m not sure really.

Oh no worries, 2015 did not make me neurotic. I’ve been that way for years. Ask anyone, they’ll tell you.

I’m the daughter of a prom queen. The rules were simple, Mom was always the prettiest woman in the room. If I gained five pounds, she threw up and I pay for my own therapy.

I can live with neurotic, trust me.

Part of me believes that I have this semi-empty-nest-grown-kids thing down cold, but when the guys (husband included) all went to see a movie over Thanksgiving weekend and didn’t invite me, that got me right in the feels. We made up for at Christmas by going to see Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Wonderful movie. I loved it. I also loved spending time together as a family. So even though I’ve proven since 2012 that there is life after kids, the bottom line is, they are still my favorite people to spend time with when they are home.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes 2015.

This is the year of Catch Me If You Can. I’ve traveled everywhere it seems. Sometimes for fun and sometimes not. We lost my brother-in-law to cancer this year and my mother died from COPD and Depression. She was miserable in the end. That doesn’t necessarily make her passing easier though. She was my mom. Our relationship was complicated by a lot of things including the lack of relationship she had with her mother but we made the best of it and had our moments. I miss her. A lot.

So, highlights:

We saw Garth Brooks in concert (It was AWESOME!). I went to San Francisco for the first time ever to see my best friend from childhood. I performed at the Syracuse Funny Bone and was given the nickname “Hippie Chick.” Went to New Orleans (Another First) I spend five months  in Upstate New York taking care of Mom before she passed away. Went on a Muse Cruise with my girlfriends and visited Haiti, Jamaica and other islands. Every place I visited, I found someone playing banjo which is pretty cool to me. I spent a week in St Petersburg Florida with friends performing at Coconuts. I did a show at the Tulsa Loony Bin with other friends. Celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary. Turned 50 (E-Ghads) and didn’t die. Recently discovered my Dad is in the early stages of dementia and will soon need more care than I can provide. (I’m not even going to discuss the bed bugs in my NY apartment or my airplane catching on fire and the emergency landing)

Simply put, I survived the roller coaster that is this crazy mixed up life. And if that makes me weirder, so be it. If nothing else, it gives me great material.

 

And that is 2015 in a nutshell. I learned this year that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit, that we all need community and I have wonderful friends, that I’m a halfway decent banjo player and I am going to go back taking lessons after the first of the year, that life after kids comes with twinges, that a name (or lack there of) on a birth certificate doesn’t mean anything really, that alcohol and grief don’t mix well, and that I am indeed funny.

May you look back on 2015 with peace and gladness and may 2016 be all you ever dreamed of. Happy New Year my friends.

And don’t forget to breathe darlin’

Deana O’Hara

the tulsa looney bin presents: Laughter With The Ladies

Join me and my friends this Wednesday night, October 28th at 7:30 pm for loads of fun and laughs. Tickets are $5 in advance or $10 at the door. Hope to see you there.

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Some days I wish for good aim

I do try to be honest with you guys. As much as I’d like to say I have I have it all together, I don’t always. Yesterday was such a day. Yesterday, I wanted to yell and scream and throw things. I didn’t. But I wanted to.

And yet I know, His mercies are new each morning. Praying for a better today.

Have you ever had one of those days when you wished “good aim” was a fruit of the spirit?

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Family First

weakness

It does not matter how carefully we plan and dream, life is full of left turns and surprises.

I had my summer all planned out.

A book to write.

Classes to finish.

Blogs to write.

Parties to go to.

Gigs that made me thrilled with excitement.

And then life happened and I had to choose.

Six weeks ago I received a call that a family member was in the hospital and they were never coming home.

I caught the next flight out and canceled everything on my calendar to be with them.

I’d do it again in a heart beat.

Now the good news is, they ARE coming home very soon.  And for that I’m thrilled.

The past six weeks were full of twists and turns and white knuckle dives as we watched this family member come to the brink of death and back again.

They are a fighter.

So if you’ve wondered where I’ve been. I’ve been at the bedside of someone near and dear to me.

It was the right choice.

I hope you understand.

Oklahoma Floods, The Cove at Rock Creek

For those who’ve asked, we are fine thank you. Just a little soggy. Clean up will take a while once they finish letting the dam out.

crc main road
THIS is supposed to be the main road. It’s closed at the moment. We had to take the back roads in today.

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crc canoe
Canoe and small boat are the only way around the Cove right now.
crc swing two
If you can presently catfish off your front porch, you might live in Oklahoma. No, that is not a house-boat. Our neighbor is well and yes that is his carport underwater there. He had to move his truck to higher ground.
crc boat
It is not all that unusual to find random boats tied to our trees during floods for safe keeping.
crc dock
The red arrow shows our floating dock. It’s almost as high as the trees.