We promised our son we’d take him fishing for his 21st birthday.
We drove 12 hours from Tulsa to Galveston to do it.
I got to the marina in the morning and asked the first mate where the facilities were on the boat.
He said if you open this door in the front of the cabin, you will find a bucket with a toilet seat lid.
I have a broken leg.
I love my boys
I really do.
Just not enough to pee in a bucket
with a toilet seat
in front of God and everybody.
I made my husband take me back to the hotel.
They had more fun without me.
They caught trout, sheeps-head, and shark without the trauma of seeing mom try to pee in a bucket with a broken leg.
And bonus – I got to pee alone
in my hotel room.
It was a win/win day.
I’ve been down with this broken leg since October. That’s a lot of time to think. I am learning a lot really.
- Living in a small town doesn’t mean you have to live small.
- Dare to dream and don’t burn bridges, you may need to cross them some day.
- If you are going to live in a small town, don’t waste your time writing about small things.
I forget these things some times.
I honestly thought I would die once my kids grew up and frankly I’m rather surprised I didn’t. I was THE mom; special needs advocate, homeroom Mom, lunchroom helper, substitute teacher, fundraiser chair, youth leader, assistant soccer coach, PTA President and everything in between.
I did it all and some days I miss it like crazy.
Honestly, I get excited when my college son brings home his laundry because I feel needed. Yes, I need help, I know.
While it is true I’ve done some awesome things since my boys grew up like swim with sharks, do stand-up comedy, write a book (to be published in 2015) and act as an extra in two Hollywood movies, there were some false-start moments. My early days in comedy were a little rough. So rough in fact, I had someone tell me to never EVER do comedy again. I’ve even been heckled to the point that I wouldn’t go back for a second set. And I’m still learning to find my voice.
Finding my voice is not an easy road. My voice is in puberty at the moment. It squeaks. A lot.
This blog is primarily my highlight reel – proof that life does not end once the kiddos launch. That has been my primary goal these last few years. I want you to know though there have been glitches and lessons learned.
- Kids don’t always launch the first time. Sometimes they come back home. Sometimes they don’t launch right away, especially if they have special needs like mine. That’s okay.
- Returning to the work force after taking a decade off to raise kids is scary.
- Ditto going back to college.
- I took an art class and did so badly my teacher either gave me the wrong email address or changed hers just to never hear from me again.
- I learned that when you live in a small town and tell gynecologist jokes, it does not take too long for people to figure out which doctor you are joking about.
- Cowboy/Cowgirl jokes don’t translate well outside of Oklahoma and everyone IN Oklahoma thinks the jokes are about them. You do not want to piss off either category as they all carry. Just sayin.
- Accidentally give a man your real phone number ONE time and you will never travel alone again.
- Ditto breaking your ankle while on vacation with your girlfriends.
- People do not feel sorry for you once they realize you broke your ankle on the beach, in the Bahamas and rode the darn horse anyway because you paid for the excursion and want your money’s worth.
- If your car gets stolen and you tell the police and the insurance folks that you do comedy for a living, do not expect them to believe you about the car.
- Guys are not your girlfriends – hugging new male friends and/or grabbing and holding their hand when you talk to them, might perhaps freak them out, especially if you do that in front of your husband.
- If you are the physical type like me, and live in the South, make sure his wife doesn’t carry. In my defense, I was too busy raising my boys to have male friends. I’ve had to learn a lot in the last few years about how to do this without getting killed.
- Rumor has it, “She needed killin’ ” is a viable defense in Oklahoma.
Always remember that life after kids is fun and when running out that front door as quickly as the money flies out of your wallet makes you tired, remember to rest.
For those who follow me, you know that I recently had surgery and I’m resting near a lake/river somewhere in Oklahoma right now. I need the rest. I’m tired and that’s okay. Resting is important. I do not have to accomplish every life goal right this minute. There will be time for more adventures.
If you live in Florida, or are traveling this summer, I will be performing as part of The Clean Comedy Challenge at Coconuts Comedy Club in Tampa Florida on July 23-25. Come on out and say hi! I’d love to meet you.
“Born an American, Saved by God’s Grace, Rebuilt by IKEA” – Mark Cosgrove
It’s officially two weeks post op and I’m off pain meds, which means I get to write again. Yay! Some people have asked me what exactly they did and why I’m out for the cycling season. This X-Ray shows it all pretty well.
What has really surprised me his how relatively pain-free I am in comparison to last time. I really think a lot of that is due to the fact that doc stabilized my tibia. I have two plates now instead of one. I have one in front and one on the side. There are 7 or 8 screws holding them in place. The fuzzy part in the middle is my hip bone. This part needs to stop being fuzzy and make nice with the rest of my leg before I can walk.
If all goes well, I won’t need the ankle replacement. That is my goal.
I just had a really crooked tibia that rubbed on my talus and made my ankle hurt. Our docs down here are awesome and some of the most creative orthopedic surgeons I know.
I’m still out for the season no matter how you slice and dice this. In the mean time, I’m rockin the banjo and making the most of my down time.
I’m not going to lie. I’m kind of digging this slower life-style that I’ve had to become accustomed to while I get my leg fixed. No more crazy deadlines, being out half the night at the club, driving people places, rushing to the store or lessons. Just being me.
Last Fall I got the chance to watch the season come and go as winter arrived and this time, I get to watch Spring arrive in all of her glory and might. I miss working in the dirt. I haven’t figured out how to do that and not put weight on my leg and that’s okay. If I don’t have my garden this year, there is always the Farmer’s Market.
For now, I get to read, play my banjo, write to my heart’s content, spend time with friends, talk on the phone, love my family, and when opportunity strikes – take pictures.
All in all. It’s really not a bad life.
This slowing down thing.
You can click on the photos if you want to see them better. If you choose to share them that is fine, so long as you link back here. Thanks for reading.
“Deana you are so blessed to have this down time. I’d give anything to spend time alone with God.”
I’ll be honest, I’m feeling that vibe a lot less now than I was back in October. The first three weeks were great, then I got bored.
In October, I knew I was only going to be down for a few months. Three, maybe four tops! In that down time, I would spend a month or two in physical therapy, but surely I’d be walking and driving by April.
Not a chance.
That simple little surgery I had last October where they broke my tibia in half, straightened it out, added a metal plate, screws and a bone graft isn’t healing.
Actually, my body got hungry and ate the graft, leaving a nice hole in the middle behind the metal plate. My leg is still broken and even though I can walk with a boot and crutches, it hurts.
I am going back in tomorrow, April 2 for another bone graft. This time they’ll take the bone from my hip. I’ll be back sitting in a chair staring at water for a few weeks while this heals. No April Fools joke, this is for real. 90 days no walking and another 90 days-ish using crutches. After that we get to decide whether or not to replace my ankle. I’m going to be down for a really long time.
This is more me time than I wanted.
I’ve learned some things though.
1. I had no idea people post such drivel on Facebook or think meme’s are factually accurate.
2. Just because my leg is broken does not mean I can’t help tear apart a kitchen.
3. Dust will not kill me.
4. The dogs who have no regard for my boot and crutches however, may.
5. Laundry can wait until someone brings it downstairs. (Flinging it down the stairs while standing on crutches is not wise – don’t ask)
6. Candy Crush is rigged against you.
7. You can go broke playing Facebook games. You can also get very bored with them after level 130.
8. Online shopping rocks.
9. Number of tie-blankets you can make before losing your mind is three.
10. Banjo really does sound better when you practice.
Have a great day you guys.