My baby is graduating high school today — I’ve been searching for my sound mind all day, all I can find is my leaky heart.
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I’ll be back, I promise
For the first time in 21 years my boys will not be home for Mother’s Day. My oldest will be celebrating a wedding out of state with his closest friends and my youngest is in Belize working at a mission for the week with his class.
Life is a cycle. My boys are now men. They bring joy and laughter beyond measure to my life. As hard as it was sometimes to be a stay at home mom – yes I missed my career, I would do it again in a heart beat. I love being their mom.
I know I’m breaking some rather large blogger rules by posting videos all week. Graduation is just a week away and we are up to our eyeballs in preparation. I hope you understand. For all the Mom’s out there, Happy Mother’s Day.
My Face is as Red as Half of My Hair
“You look a lot younger on your profile picture than in real life.”
Thank you?
What kind of statement is that? I mean unless it’s retro week or something, I do keep my profile pics up-to-date. I tell people I have a 21-year-old and a 18-year-old. Unless I gave birth pre-puberty, I would think my age is self apparent. Apparently not to some. I do consider the source. The person in question was a 20 something comic who’d not yet met me in person and chose to believe I was younger because I was just starting out in comedy at the time.
Fast forward two years and add a lot more grey hair to the equation and I start believing in better living through chemistry. Clairol chemistry to be exact. Looking in the mirror while at the lake on April 1, I see more grey hair than I do red and the first thing that pops into my mind is, “Oh my gosh, I cannot meet John Branyan looking like this! I have to fix this, now.”
I packed my bags and left my family in the proverbial dust as I raced home to color my hair.
I didn’t have a lot of time. It was already 2 pm and the doors opened at 6 for the comedy concert.
I hit the drug store, bought a new shade of red that promised to cover the grey in 25 minutes and headed home.
I parted, combed, colored, covered and waited for Clairol to work her magic. The end result was splendid in my opinion. By the time the boys got home from the lake, I was sporting my new do. I even curled my hair and put on make up – just to meet John. It was almost 4:30 by time the guys made it home. We rushed out the door to go stand in line for good seats.
The show was wonderful.
Meeting John Branyan and Tim Hawkins (both fellow CCA Comics) afterwards was a huge treat.
John was gracious and kind and said he’s looking forward to seeing me again in Nashville in June at our conference.
Watching Tim lay his head on the table when my son asked him to autograph his butt was truly priceless.
None of that however compares to 24 hours later, at my son’s soccer game when I turn to my husband and ask, “Is it me or are people looking at me funny?”
“They aren’t looking at you funny, they are just smiling.”
“Why are they smiling?”
He is in the danger zone and he knows it. Pausing for wisdom – or an earthquake to eat him whole – whichever comes first, he finally fesses up.
“Well, I’m curious. Did you mean to only color the front of your hair?”
“WHAT?”
“I mean it looks great, it’s just that you missed the entire back of your head, that’s all.”
NICE.
I called my girlfriend Michele, who was also at the concert to ask her if she noticed. She did. She thought I did it on purpose and didn’t say anything.
I let her live because in all fairness, we were already there – what was anyone going to do? Still – I went out in public looking like a middle-aged punk rock, 80′s flash back wanna be with big hair and NO ONE TOLD ME!
Alright ladies and gents. Your turn. While I’m shampooing with Prell to strip this back out and try again, I’d love to hear about your fashion catastrophes.
Cassidy Gets her lip pierced.
Hi There. My name is Cassidy. I’m a rescue dog. When I was just 4 months old, I rescued my master from this really busy parking lot and went home with her to take care of her border collie Rocky because he was sad and lonely. I like to play with Rocky. He’s funny. Sometimes he’ll be pretending to sleep in the back yard and as soon as I start barking at him, he jumps as high as the moon and then chases me around the pool.
My Mommy is busy today covering up holes in the yard with fresh dirt so that I can dig again. Isn’t she nice? I like my Mommy. She keeps yummy things laying around the house for me to eat. Sometimes she leaves a big ole juicy pot roast on the counters just for me.
It has to be for me.
Everything is for me.
It’s the rule.
I went with Mommy to the lake this weekend and oh the wonderful smells. We had so much fun running and playing and fishing. She even left chocolate cookies on the counter for me to eat.
I almost couldn’t get them because Mommy likes to hide my food in plastic boxes and put it waaaay back and out of reach. But I’ve grown now and I can reach anything I want.
Do you know that I am part Jack Russell?
Yep.
I can jump three feet straight into the air.
That helps when reaching cookies.
I didn’t eat all of them. I left three on the floor for master. I’m sure she was pleased. I’m learning how to share.
I also left a big old brown spot in the middle of her white carpet after I threw up.
I don’t like throwing up.
I must have eaten too much dog food.
Mommy called someone named “The Vet” to make sure I will be okay.
I don’t like that name. We know a man with that name in Tulsa. He likes to poke me with nasty things. I hope this man doesn’t come over. If he does, I’ll bite him. But he said I’d be fine and he doesn’t need to come over. Yippee!
When I was feeling better I went hunting for smells and I found hot dogs.
The boy who lives with us likes to fish. I like it when he fishes. We run and jump and play near the water. There are lots of great smells near the water.
I smelled hot dogs on Saturday.
And I know they were for me.
ME ME ME.
They were deep inside a green bag and on a stick! Yummy!
OOWIEEE..
I don’t like that stick. It’s pointy and it won’t come out! MOOMMMY!!!
Mommy chased me all over the yard trying to take my hot dog away but I wouldn’t let her catch me so she called Mr Vet again and this time he came over.
I tried to bite him but he told Mommy we needed to have a blanket party.
I like parties. I just wish my mouth didn’t hurt so much.
I got excited when I saw Mommy get a nice big blanket from inside but then she threw it on me and everything went dark.
That’s when Mr Vet gave me a shot, right in my back leg.
WOW did that hurt.
I don’t like blanket parties.
I must have been really tired from all the smells and running because I fell asleep really fast and when I woke up, I was on the blanket and Mr Vet wasn’t there anymore.
Mommy wouldn’t let me eat or drink anything for a looong time. And she wrapped up my lip ring and threw it deep in the trash so that I don’t find it again. I guess a 10 month old puppy is too young for a lip ring.
Mommy said she’s really tired today from resting at the lake all weekend. We might take a nap. I’m thinking that is a good idea.
Have a great day ya’ll.
Three Things I Love about Cancun
The Beach
The Wild Animals
We think He looks like a cross between a lemur and a raccoon. He is actually a Mexican raccoon and is very intelligent. A lady was feeding him from her bag. Rather than take the food, he took the bag up a tree. Unfortunately the bag also contained her wallet and room key. Fortunately he dropped the bag once he got the food. Cute yes, but the signs say not to feed the animals for a reason.
These beautiful peacocks were all over our hotel.
The crew - and a guest - raising the sails on the Catamaya (go to www.catamaya.net to learn more about Catamaya Cruise Tours.)
Our youngest was thrilled to discover not only gecko lizards but also iguanas everywhere.
The Smiles
Swimming and snorkeling in one of the underground rivers of XCaret. - We also swam with sharks while we were there. What a trip!
Life After Kids, Cowgirls ‘n Angels
One of my biggest fears is having my children grow up, move out and leave me behind. Marriage and parenting can take our all, every day, every week, every year. And then poof, just like that it seems they are grown, gone and testing their wings.
What then?
A lot of women fall apart at this stage in life. So do a lot of marriages.
I made a choice a few years ago. I do not want those things happening to me. I do not want to wake up six months from now without a clue of who I am. Or worse yet – I do not want to wake up six months from now, look at my husband and think “who are you and what are you doing in my bed?”
Just like weening a baby off the breast, I have to ween myself off the “mom roll” and come back to the woman.
It’s not easy to do. Actually it is very painful at times.
It takes soul-searching work, bravery, and conviction.
There is a fun side to testing my own wings and seeing what I’m made of beneath the sweat suit and pony-tail.
One of the fun things is watching this movie trailer and seeing myself in the crowd scenes during the trick riding. – I even got paid to be there when they filmed last summer.
A release date has not yet been set, but I can’t wait to go see it.
Life doesn’t have to end when our kids grow up. We can begin to prepare by getting to know that woman in the mirror again today.
Take some time and get to know her, who knows maybe she’ll surprise you.
Love you guys!
Broken Arrow Easter Egg Hunt April 7, 2012
The Annual Ablaze Easter Egg Hunt & Canned Food Drive is coming soon!
What: 6000 Eggs To Hunt!
Where: Liberty Elementary School
209th between 41st & 51st
Broken Arrow
When: Saturday April 7th @ 1:00 pm
This event is a blast! All those eggs. All this kids. All those smiles! Bring your kids, friends, & neighbors! Please be sure to bring a canned food item for Broken Arrow Neighbors.
Who needs RDJ when you’re already married to the sexiest man alive.
I am dating the sexiest man alive and I love it!
Move over Robert Downey Junior. Sherlock Holmes and Iron Man, might look cool on the big screen but they pale in real life, they are after all, fictitious characters. While I joke a lot about my crush on Robert Downey Junior, I also know my hubs has the same kinda crush on Meg Ryan. I’ve known this since we met. No worries. We’re cool with that and comfortable enough with each other (and ourselves) to own it out loud if we think someone is hot.
But seriously — I actually think my husband is hotter than Robert Downey Jr.
For starters he’s a lead guitar player in a band – with a respectable day job. So he’s an artist who eats.
He’s a brilliant business man.
He’s a poet/songwriter.
He can cook.
He’s a great dad.
He gives back to the community without needing his name in the paper. — LOVE that.
He can tear up the water on a tube.
He’s an avid fisherman and a good one.
An excellent soccer coach back when he coached.
He likes U2 almost as much as I do. Almost.
He’s got a wicked sense of humor and is a great source of inspiration for a lot of my stories and jokes.
And when I tried to go blonde to surprise him last winter, he tried really hard not to laugh when the results weren’t quite what I expected. (Think atomic carrot with flames. yes it was that bad.)
We are polar opposites as well. He’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. He likes classic rock, I like country. I love to travel, he’d rather just fish. He’s a White Sox Fan and I love the Cubs. He likes action flicks, I like romantic comedies. And yet it works.
This is the man I get to date again after 21 years of raising kids. I’m kinda diggin that if you really want to know.
If you are married, I highly suggest dating your mate.
It’s a lot of fun.
And so this is New Year
I read once that the trick to getting over the blank page hump is to write three or four sentances.
I’m not sure if it works.
But I thought I’d give it a try.
And lo, I’m writing.
Happy New Year you guys. Did you know that Mayans did not believe the world was going to end in 2012? They calendared Eras not years. To them 2012 signifies the ending of an era of darkness and begins the era of light. I rather like that thought, don’t you?
This is my very first alone time moment in three weeks that does not involve napping to shut the world out or showers. I have a puppy that won’t even let me pee alone without busting down the door to save me but she will let me shower alone, thankfully. Right now my oldest is sleeping, hubs is working and youngest is at school for another 30 minutes. I better make the most of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family beyond measure. I’m also an introvert. (or INFJ according to Meyers Briggs) Alone time is crucial to my ET. (Emotional Temperature.)
I’m sitting at my new desk, looking around my office and I’m filled with joy and fear all at once. So many possibilities lay ahead. It’s finally put together – mostly. We painted the walls, hung the pictures and brought up the furnature. So far I love it. Just don’t ask what the rest of my house looks like.
I have learned that self-effacing humor does not always translate well in the literary sense. Despite my initial neurotic rantings about how I came to choose my word for the year (breathe) I actually like the possibilities that it opens. I’m only day four into the new year and I’ve already found great moments to practice my breathing.
When my togetherness threshold meets one more day of vacation than I anticipate, I need to breathe.– Everyone, and I do mean EVERY one in my house has a different idea on how to spend the day. — I want to clean the house, put away Christmas, do laundry and put away all our stuff from the lake that is still laying throughout the main level of our home. My boys want to film their newest epic movie with friends at our house (which is a mess). And my husband wants to complete the transfer of rooms, which involves the moving of furniture and the placing of more boxes throughout the hall and house. I never did get my house clean. I did however at least get Christmas put away.
When I finally step on the scale (first time since Thanksgiving) I discover that I am UP 13 pounds. – I need to breathe.
When I tell my husband I’m cancelling my Friday Drs appt because I’m up 13 pounds oh and yeah, I accidentally followed the guy’s racing team on twitter over break and well can I just find a new doctor? (I’m neurotic like that) – He practices breathing. No go on cancelling, he made me promise I’d keep the appointment.
When I find out my new dental bridge costs $1006 out-of-pocket because of our deductible – I need to breathe.
And finally when I have my short me time, I practice breathing in the possibilities of the year to come. My next choice can determine the outcome of 2012. Taking the time to breathe before I act helps me choose well.
I’ve been reading your posts. Seems everyone is excited about 2012 as I am. Many of you have new words or phrases for the year. That’s exciting. So, what goals do you have to 2012? What steps do you plan on taking in January to get you there? I’d love to hear from you.
In Search of Wings
Horses lend us the wings we lack. Pam Brown, 1928
I woke up with my shoulders in my ears this morning. My to do list is out of hand what with Christmas just around the corner and my oldest due home on Friday. I have too much on my mental plate and need to blow off some steam.
In light of that, I took time out to ride today. I usually ride Prince on Tuesdays. (See photo) This time Janell let me ride Cowboy. Cowboy jacks with me most days, but not today. He’s not a bad horse, he just doesn’t like beginners. I’ve been riding for almost a year now and even though I cannot hold a steady gallop, I’m no longer a beginner. Something about my seat told him I could be trusted. He did everything I asked.
Horses need to be able to trust their riders as much as riders need to be able to trust their horses. It’s a two-way relationship. There is a life lesson in this I’m sure. Janell is teaching me how to race barrels as well as jump. Once I learn those, it’s on to roping cattle. I’m becoming a real cowgirl. I’m 46. This is crazy. And oh so much fun.
J-man wants to know how I can “race barrels” if we aren’t really going at a full gallop yet. He’s an are we there yet kind of fellow.
That’s an easy question to answer. We just do it. It’s not about the speed. At least not yet. It’s about form and it’s about trust. Once that foundation is set, the speed will come. Every hour I spend in the arena, I push myself to go a little bit faster for a little bit longer. I work my abs and my legs by holding them straight. My left leg keeps wanting to curl up underneath me for protection and that throws me off balance, holding it straight is a huge challenge. I work on keeping my eyes up and forward instead of on the ground. I sit as tall as I can and I let the horse go. Every day I ride, I borrow courage from the horse and make it my own.
Cowboy does not give an inch. Every step, every breath, every moment is earned with him. I rather like that.
I prefer to earn my own confidence than have it handed to me.
Cowboy will not let me lope one minute before I’m ready. His resistance is teaching about my own journey in life. So often we are in a hurry to arrive. Cowboy forces me to slow down, breathe deeply, check my seat, stay balanced and enjoy the ride.
In light of that, I’m taking the rest of the year off.
I hope you don’t mind it’s just that I’ve been in such a hurry to make Christmas arrive that I’m missing the journey.
No more twitter. (Ouchies.. I kinda like twitter)
No more Facebook. eh, they’ll live.
and No more Blog. At least not until 2012.
I hope you don’t mind.
I haven’t taken time to harvest the fruit from 2011 or to rest.
I need time to be.
To quote Anne Jackson, the internet will still be here in 2012. Have a blessed Hunakkah or Christmas or whichever you celebrate. I’ll see you in 2012.
Love and Laughter
Deana
